North County Times > It's Your Life

Moving Forward After Widowhood

by Candace Bahr

Recovering from the loss of someone close to you takes time. Creating a clear process for handling the legal and financial details will help make this difficult time easier for you both emotionally and financially. Here are some steps to help you move forward as you begin adjusting to your new life.

  • Get organized
    Gather important papers, such as wills, trusts and other important documents, and organize them in a large binder. Make sure you have plenty of room to take notes, and keep your binder in a safe place near the phone so that when you receive calls, you can easily access your information. Make notes about each conversation, including the date of the discussion.

  • Evaluate the estate assets
    Determine beneficiary designations on life insurance policies, retirement programs and IRAs as well as Veterans Administration life insurance. Contact your husband's employer to find out if your husband was covered by work-sponsored life insurance. Notify your financial institutions and change titles to accounts. Call each institution and find out what they will need.

  • Review your husband's debts and your joint obligations
    Is there mortgage insurance to pay off the mortgage? A checkbook register can be useful in determining who the estate may owe. Consult with your attorney before you pay off any debts ---- some will need to be paid by the estate, and some by you personally.

  • Seek advice
    In addition to legal, tax and financial advice, you need a trusted adviser with whom you can talk over important decisions. Consider including a friend or family member in your meetings. That way, you'll have someone else to help you as you go through this difficult process.
  • Determine your future sources of income

    Call Social Security at (800) 772-1213 to determine if you are entitled to benefits and how to apply for them. If your husband had a pension, be aware that your new benefits may only be a fraction of what you were previously receiving and you may need to tap new sources of income.

As you begin the healing process, there is no need to make rash decisions. Park the funds you receive in an interest-bearing account until you get your financial bearings. When you are ready, consult a financial adviser, who will help you assess your new circumstances and income needs and invest the funds accordingly.

Settling an estate is never easy. At first, the entire process may seem overwhelming, but with each decision you make and each task you complete, you will find yourself moving forward in your life.